Thursday, May 04, 2006

Chasing Clouds

An angel approached me from behind and placed her hand on my shoulder as I looked out at my work. I was feeling down… but her touch was warm and uplifting to the spirit. It was a dream, and my mood could be described with one word. Lost…

“What’s wrong with me?” I asked. But she did not answer. She only watched with me, as more of my past deeds appeared before us.

I began to complain that accomplishing those deeds had brought me little gratification, and that I am seldom satisfied.

She interrupted.

“How do you select your deeds… your goals?” Her voice was strong and yet soothing… how it called me away from my troubles. I saw myself standing below us – and I remembered how I had felt.

I did not answer her question directly. Instead, I tried to explain that my goals help to focus my energies.

She interrupted again.

“Focus, or distract?” she said. I thought about her question as she continued, “If you commit yourself to chasing clouds, to the extent that pursuing them becomes your identity, you will be lost when they evaporates.”

I didn’t fully understand.

“Distract?” I said… puzzled, “Distract me from what?”

“It is important… how you select your goals and invest your energies,” she said, “United, they pursue higher objectives? Divided, they distract from one another.”

“The objective is happiness,” I said without thinking.

“Happiness?” she shrugged. Her voice then became stern, “If happiness is your objective, then why do you not feel incrementally content as you accomplish small steps towards it? Do you believe that your path true?” she looked into my eyes – her eyes were as deep as the ocean, “Does it follow the plan?”

“The plan…?”

“Yes…” still looking into my eyes, “I know that you know…” Then in silence we waited… while I wondered what she was thinking – and what she was thinking of me.

“Is it selfish to seek happiness?” I asked.

“Selfish…” her voice hauntingly echoed, “Would not seeking to make others happy be more fulfilling?”

“Yes…” I nodded… understanding and slightly ashamed.

“What is the meaning of life…” she said, “If not to nourish it? The plan is only that you should love.”

Pursuing a relationship is sometimes like chasing a cloud. If the relationship does not develop, the pursuer is left feeling lost. Like love, clouds are not to be chased and captured - and unlike clouds, love is always within our reach. It was Buddha that said, “When you realize how perfect everything is, you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.”


mayumi said...

yes, we need not to chase love. it is within our reach. We have it inside our hearts to nourish.We could have set standards that when we felt it is good, we call it love.
Happiness is set within...a choice! contentment objective thinking of how our lives are spent...

Anonymous said...

Hey just stoppin through and leaving a comment I really enjoyed "Chasing Clouds".It really touched me because I can see where you are coming from, all I have to say is keep up the good work